There's more to life than....

So for many years my identity as an adult was completely defined by my job.

I loved my work-I loved how it was never boring and how I could always be creative.  Nothing was ever the same.  I laughed every day.  I also cried sometimes or got angry enough to take it home with me.  It would sit in my heart grind me down.

I lost myself in my job, it's all I thought about most of the time.  I worried about how to be better constantly.  I worried on how to do a better job.  I was so focused on my work.  

I was that person  that talked "shop" when I was socially out.   I realize now that drove more people away.  Most people do not talk work outside of work.  I never could turn it off because it was always on my mind.  There were always problems to solve and challenges to overcome.  When I conquered those issues I felt incredible.

I was doing a great job.  I built up my program and people noticed.  I did it all on my own.  Just hard work for nine years.

So then, when I was told to leave my job, that it was making me not only sick but worse, I felt as though I was dumped in a pool of ice water without warning.

I was so tired of questions being unanswered.  I was so tired of feeling bad.

When I came home from work (or the gym after work) I barely had anything left for my family.  My job consumed all of me and unfortunately there wasn't much emotionally or physically left for home.

I had to go to acupuncture to help manage my stress and anxiety from the stress from my job.

But she said I wasn't in good shape.  So I was spending hundreds of dollars to help me deal with my job.

After looking over the pros and cons financially of working verses staying home as a mom, I realized that my health couldn't take the back seat any longer.

I had to take charge of it.   

My job (even if it was my passion) was just a job.  I could always go back to work.

I couldn't always go back to trying to be healthy, or focus on my family.

My little girl would not be little for too much longer.

So now I'm stripped of my identity as a choral director.
I lost a few hundred kids that I saw every day and worked with to try to teach them to love music.

I lost dozens of relationships on a daily basis.  

I lost a part of me.  Almost like an amputation of a limb.  I keep having phantom feelings for it.
I keep dreaming about work.  Some days I wake up thinking about "Oh I need to drive to work."

Then I realize, no I don't...

So now I need to find out what what my identity and life is now.

Find out there is more to life than a job.  What am I?

I don't know yet, but it is exciting to find out.