This will be a the traditional whiney "things I miss" since my doctor told me
"You will never be able to eat carbs for the rest of your life"
Yes, part of me died that day.
I love food. I have always loved food.
To the pride of my grandparents I was the kid that would eat "ANYTHING" and was up for trying anything. Even if I hated something, I would still eat it if I was served it.
I have a love affair with curries, naan and all things Indian.
When I was pregnant I had an amazing piano student who brought me fantastic Indian treats-pretty sure that saved me on my 12-14 hour days with just pure joy.
I love really good amazing Italian food. Duh-who doesn't?
When I went to France I went to a restaurant "La Mer" in Nice, I believe and had a near religious experience with the 5 course meal we had. If I lived in France, I think I would be the happiest girl in the world.
I am passionate about cooking. Ever since I can remember I helped my mom cook, traditional bake cookies-marathon Christmas cookie baking. My favorite was Baklava-I was never allowed to make it (it's a hard process) until I got older. Now it's my favorite traditional dessert to make-and everyone who tries my famous family recipe falls in love as well.
I love Asian food, with a Vietnamese Aunt, I was quite spoiled with amazing spring rolls and other great food escapades as a kid. My other Aunt was an amazing chef and cooked amazing vegetarian and ethnic foods whenever I visited. Then we would visit her mother in law in Kentucky and have the best homemade southern cooking you could ever have.
I have a sweet tooth-dark chocolate is my guilty pleasure. But I swoon over pastries. Whenever I travel I always hit up the local pastry shop and ask the pastry chef what to try. I just blindly trust whatever they suggest. I am never disappointed.
Food to me is an adventure. I can travel to Hong Kong, or I can travel to Serbia (which is where my mom's family is from) and get a taste of culture I've never been able to experience in person.
There is something so extremely special in that.
But-when you cut out carbs.....
All of it changes. All of it.
I miss wine. I miss beer.
My family always drinks wine with meals-beer on a hot day, or at a ball game. It's something I just grew up around. I don't crave hard liquor or anything like that.
I miss a cool class of white one at the end of a hot day. I miss a robust red wine that feels like a firecracker in my mouth with all the intense flavors.
But-there's something worth more than all these things I miss-
a baby.
I think I would miss that more.
I think if I broke down and stopped right now-that would be it.
I would gain my weight back, my symptoms would get worse and I would inevitably end up infertile.
I've seen so many heartbreaking posts by women who are infertile due to PCOS. Lives, families, marriages destroyed due to PCOS.
If I have the ability to make myself better-I better well do it. I owe it to those thousands of women who CANNOT have babies because PCOS has ruined their lives.
If I gave up now for a stupid glass of wine or a piece of naan-there would be no turning back.
I owe it to them and myself to keep going.
So for the things I miss-I don't miss you THAT MUCH.
I will always miss you-you've been in my life for 31 years,
but I have the rest of my life to think about.
And the rest of my life is so much more than a carb.
